I have just returned from my 34 week midwife appointment and as always it’s got me thinking about a lot – such as breastfeeding and labour plans. I’ve just been told to start thinking and writing up a birth plan. I never really wanted to make one as I felt that labour isn’t really something you can plan really, is it?! Anything could happen on the day and I’d rather just go with the flow, and I guess that way I avoid disappointment. She’s given me a handful of leaflets about labour, including the third stage (which you tend to forget) about giving birth to your placenta and how you’d like to do it. Now I guess I’ve been a bit naive about this as I thought it would just sort of plop out along with baby. Turns out I have a choice of having an injection or just letting it naturally come out in it’s own time. Alright placenta… do you hear me? No hanging about in there yeah? Mumma would have just popped out a baby, the last thing we want is to be waiting around for your ugly presence to appear an hour later, alright!
So according to my leaflet, there are two types of injections I can have (I won’t bore you with to many details) but to cut a long story short:
Syntometrine – Effective at reducing blood loss, can make blood pressure rise, vomiting.
Syntocinon – Less likely vomiting.
or I could just have physiological third stage, which is where I basically let it detach naturally, can take 30-60 minutes but may increase risk of bleeding after baby is born. I’m sorry but how the hell do I decide?! Am I the only person who reads this leaflet, wide eyed thinking….what?? I’d like to think that without the injections would be better right?! I honestly haven’t got a clue… I have had people say that they just had gas and air when they delivered the placenta, I didn’t even realise there were options involved!
Anyway, moving on…. Not only do I have to think about popping out my placenta I have to think about the pain relief I’d like, and all that jazz… But how can I say what I want until I know how it feels? I’d like to think I have a high pain threshold and so I would ideally like to give it my best shot at having gas an air and hopefully as little pain relief as possible. Not because I think I’m some sort of birthing bad-ass that will brush it off like it’s nothing (I am fully aware that it’s a painful process and I will more than likely be screaming for an epidural the minute I get my first contraction) but more because I am just super curious, and I do want to just see how it really feels. How high really is my pain threshold. Also, I don’t like the idea that having an epidural means you can’t feels your contractions and so you have to be told to push by the midwife. Nah, I’m sorry, I’m too much of a control freak, I want to feel it for myself thank you very much!
It’s certainly going to be interesting for you folks reading this. Reading my high hopes for labour and how I think it’s going to go, and then reading in 5/6 weeks time how it actually happened on the day. Which will more than likely be the complete opposite to everything I say now. This nicely explains exactly why I think it’s pointless writing a birth plan!
So… I’m gunna talk boobies! Milky mama boobies! Breastfeeding is something that I NEVER thought I’d ever ever think about. When I was young and naive (yes, I know I’m still exactly that) but I mean really young; I used to say I would absolutely, 100%, definitely NOT breastfeed. However, as we began to try for a baby and I became pregnant, it was very much a thought that gradually changed. I was so totally anti-breastfeeding, and I’ll explain why… I was a very self conscious young girl, who always had an issue with my little titties. (Orangutan titties as I used to call them – don’t ask!) I guess because of this, I felt I wouldn’t ever be confident enough to get my boob out to feed my child in any situation. I mean, in my younger days I used to think I wouldn’t even get my boobs out in front of a boy let alone in public! Obviously, I grew older and I became more confident with my own body. My wonderful husband is a very complimentary man (I am not saying he tells me I got cracking tits on a daily basis, I just mean he has made me feel good overall). So it wasn’t until I got pregnant when I thought… hold up… why shouldn’t I breastfeed?! It’s a frickin’ free source of milk mate!
My wonderful friend had also just had her gorgeous baby boy and she was all for breastfeeding from the get go. She had really opened my eyes to the whole decision really. Seeing her bond she has with her boy is beautiful. She’s given me a few “tit tips” and tricks – which to someone who hasn’t the foggiest about breastfeeding, is great! More and more as my pregnancy has progressed, I’ve actually been getting super excited about giving it a go and I can’t stop watching breastfeeding videos about “How to get a successful latch”. Look… my opinion still hasn’t changed about getting my tit out in public, this is still very much so a big fear of mine that I am sure won’t change. I wouldn’t be able to get out my boob in a cafe or restaurant. Not because I think it would bother other people around me… frankly they can shove it… but because it would bother myself, due to still being quite a self conscious woman. Another comment I could be eating my own words on, I could end up being some sort of “earth mother” with her knockers out in Nandos! Fair play to those mamma’s to be honest.
It’s also been something playing a part towards me being nervous about the visitor period after baby is born. I have heard that when you’re breastfeeding – visitors can be quite a burden. I just hope people will be understanding when I want them to leave to be honest, otherwise they will have to put up with me taking baby out of the room for 30+ minutes, while I feed baby somewhere more private. Guess I’ll have to try time it right – boob time before visitor time, then hopefully I won”t have to sit watching people hold my hungry baby, with a squeaky bum because I just wanna grab him and shove him on the boob! Professionals say you’re meant to breastfeed your baby when they want it and not necessarily to a routine. So this will be when they are showing early hunger cues such as sucking on their hands or turning their head, yawning etc… If I can see baby doing this, that’s when I need to feed, before baby starts to cry. Otherwise, it will make latching difficult because they’re grumpy. So, a visitor could ruin that if I can see my baby showing all those early cues, I’m gunna need to take him off their hands otherwise it could ruin my chances of successful breastfeeding, and I’m sorry but I really want it to work out so…. bye?! Oh god… I’m going to be a really obsessive mother aren’t I. *No shits given – soz*
Mate… breastfeeding is going to be a right faf init! On the subject of visitors.. I think I might have to be a bit cruel to be kind to people. The first 2 weeks after baby is born is such a precious time for daddy’s, as this is literally the only time they get off of work. Unlike us lucky mummies, who get to spend a lot of time with our newborns. Then once they go back to work.. they’re lucky if they catch some bonding time once they get home, before baby goes to bed! So for us, 2 weeks after baby is born the less visitors the better! So that:
1.Daddy can enjoy his precious 2 weeks he will get to bond with his son.
2: Mummy can get her head (or tit) around breastfeeding without worrying about interruptions.
3: We can actually spend a bit of peaceful, magical time as a new family of 3, before normality kicks in!
4: I will feel and look like shit. Simple as that really.
Is that such a bad thing? Surely people can understand that! I get that there are family members that are guaranteed “absolutely-must-see-as-soon-as-possible” and that’s totally cool, but all the other peeps that… yes I’m going to say it… aren’t that special, might just have to wait until we’re ready. It’s for the benefit of daddy more than anything – he is going to be the main bread winner (unless I become some sort of famous, successful, rich ass mother blogger), he will return to work so soon! He will not be able to get those 2 weeks back once they’re gone – babies grow so god damn fast! I truly do feel sorry for these dad’s, they more than likely miss out on babies first steps, words, everything really! So people will just need to respect that these moments are precious!! For all we know, we might find we LOVE showing off our newborn little toot, and can’t get enough of people swooning over him, and we might enjoy it. We won’t know until we are in the situation. I doubt people will just turn up at our door without asking first anyway… we’ll just ignore the doorbell if that’s the case -ha!
Okay I’m just gunna step down off my soap box now. This has been a right ol’ long ‘un hasn’t it?! That’s what these midwife appointments do to me… they get my brain cogs chugging!